I want a gay

by Fred Penzel, PhD

This article was initially published in the Winter edition of the OCD Newsletter. 

OCD, as we know, is largely about experiencing severe and unrelenting doubt. It can cause you to doubt even the most basic things about yourself – even your sexual orientation. A study published in the Journal of Sex Research found that among a group of college students, 84% reported the occurrence of sexual intrusive thoughts (Byers, et al. ). In instruct to have doubts about one’s sexual identity, a sufferer demand not ever have had a homo- or heterosexual experience, or any type of sexual experience at all. I have observed this symptom in young children, adolescents, and adults as well. Interestingly Swedo, et al., , start that approximately 4% of children with OCD experience obsessions concerned with forbidden aggressive or perverse sexual thoughts.

Although doubts about one’s own sexual identity might feel pretty straightforward as a symptom, there are actually a number of variations. The most obvious form is where a sufferer experiences the thought that they mig

What Do Gay Men Want?

“Compelling, timely, and provocative. The writing is sleek and exhilarating. It doesn’t waste time telling us what it will do or what it has just done—it just does it.”
—Don Kulick, Professor of Anthropology, New York University

How we can talk about sex and risk in the age of barebacking—or condomless sex—without invoking the usual bogus and punitive clichés about gay men’s alleged low self-esteem, lack of self-control, and other psychological “deficits”? Are there queer alternatives to psychology for thinking about the inner life of homosexuality? What Do Gay Men Want? explores some of the possibilities.

Unlike most writers on the topic of gay men and risky sex, David Halperin liberates gay male subjectivity from psychology, demonstrating the insidious ways in which psychology’s defining opposition between the normal and the pathological subjects homosexuality to medical reasoning and revives a whole set of unexamined moral assumptions about “good” sex and “bad” sex.

In particular, Halperin champions neglected traditions of queer thought, including bo

How to Be Happy as a Gay Man

I’m an advice columnist for the Here’s my respond to the following question, sent by a reader.

Dear Adam,

I hold a great boyfriend, interesting profession, cute dog, and enough capital to buy most things I want. This is supposed to be gay heaven. And yet, I’m not happy. I often feel like “is this all there is?” Why can’t I just appreciate all the nice I have?

Signed,

Disappointed in Denver

Dear Disappointed in Denver,

You’re not alone with these feelings. In fact, they are pretty common. But we rarely talk about it. If we do, we fear we’ll sound spoiled.

There’s a lot of research being done on happiness these days.

We think what will make us most happy is a great job, a passionate boyfriend or girlfriend, and a beautiful apartment.

However, the research makes it clear that the strongest source of happiness is the feeling of being connected and part of a larger whole.

That sounds old-fashioned. Like we should all be in church on Sundays. And the majority of LGBTQ people lost interest in religion a long time ago, especially when it became evident that we w

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